The Value of Pride

Although the Trump administration no longer recognizes it, June is Gay Pride Month. That means a couple of things. You’re likely to see various pride flags and rainbow graphics all over the internet — and you’re also going to see hysterical talk of “grooming” and whining cries of “we don’t get straight pride, so why should they get gay pride?” coming from conservatives. The fact that MAGA can still gain traction around the (false) idea that gay people are trying to seduce your children makes me think that, despite the success of gay marriage and the overall increased cultural acceptance of gayness, Gay Pride may not have outlived its usefulness.

To be honest, my husband and I don’t routinely attend Gay Pride events, fly a rainbow flag, or buy any of the plethora of Pride merchandise now available. Our lives would not really be any different if June were dedicated instead to appreciating our brave veterans, as some MAGA folks have suggested (unaware, apparently, that there are already two months dedicated to them— May is National Military Appreciation Month, and November is National Veterans and Military Families Month). But we have both been “out and proud” for over 40 years. We are secure and happy in who we are, with friends and family who support us. Not all LBGTQ+ people are so lucky.

According to the National Institute of Health, LGBTQ+ people are substantially more likely to struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. While there are likely many different causes, societal disapproval and outright discrimination surely play a part. In fact, the study found a direct link between incidences of discrimination and increases in drug and alcohol use. But I think more than this kind of external stressors, the bigger problem is that many gay and trans people internalize the negative feelings towards them that still exist in our culture. As a result, they struggle with feelings of self-hatred and low self-esteem.

I have been asked more than once if, as an Objectivist, I thought concepts like “Gay Pride” and “Black Pride” were legitimate. Surely Ayn Rand would have thought it improper to feel proud of traits over which one had no control. People don’t choose their ethnicity or their sexuality, so isn’t feeling pride about them just perpetuating the (mistaken) idea that people should be judged by these traits?

To the extent that people are proud of these unchosen characteristics, then yes, I think this is profoundly mistaken. The achievements (or flaws) of your ancestors or peer group have no bearing on your merit as an individual. It is wrong to feel pride for what others of your race (or sexual orientation or “tribe”) have accomplished — and it is also wrong to feel shame for their crimes (“white guilt” and “white shame” are sadly increasingly common among “woke” folks). This kind of insanity just reinforces the collectivist thinking that underpins racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. This is the polar opposite of the world Martin Luther King Jr. dreamt of, in which people would be judged solely on “the content of their character.”

But there is another sense in which pride (Pride) is justified — and important. Let me explain.

When people grow up gay or black or brown in a world where homophobia and racism are very much alive and well, there are myriad signals — large (getting called the “F word” or the “N word”) and small (most of the people everyone admires look or act a certain way and it’s not the way they look or act) — that can chip away at their self-esteem. For racial minorities, often the people and programs supposedly trying to help them (racial preferences and quotas) subtly reinforce feelings of inferiority (white people don’t need special treatment). Sometimes their own community adds to these feelings by telling them to “stop acting white” when they speak proper English, work hard for good grades, or show interest in “white things” like classical music. Gay and trans people have other struggles. Most grow up in heterosexual, cisgender families, often not knowing anyone else who is like them. Many are from religious households, where they are specifically taught that homosexuality and gender nonconformity are sins. So, while different in meaningful ways, racial minorities and sexual minorities share this: becoming a psychologically healthy adult with purpose and self-esteem is a huge achievement — one worth taking pride in. That is why I don’t have a problem with Gay Pride Month or Black History Month. They can and should be both a justified celebration of all that has been overcome — as well as a beacon of hope to young people dealing with shame, insecurity, and oppression. I hope that one day such things will not be necessary, but clearly we are not there yet.

So, by all means, when BLM or Gay Pride or other such topics come up, criticize the bad aspects of these package deals. Point out the viciousness of the socialism that BLM promotes, and the collectivism implicit in much of LGBTQ+ politics. But also recognize that part of what people are responding to are the positive aspects embedded with the negative. Some are celebrating the earned pride of being true to themselves in the face of disapproval and discrimination. And in that sense, pride is legitimate, even courageous. So…for the right reasons, I’d like to wish a happy Gay Pride Month to all who celebrate.